The Funeral Ends. The Relationship Shouldn’t with Matthew Van Drimmelen

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In this episode of the Deathcare Marketing Show, host Mary Barnett is joined by Matthew Van Drimmelen, Founder of Full Service Aftercare. With over a decade of dedicated experience serving funeral homes and grieving families, Matthew breaks down why a funeral home’s job doesn’t end when the graveside service concludes, in fact, that is when a family’s greatest operational and emotional challenges begin.

Matthew shares how lifting the overwhelming administrative burden off grieving families (from notifying government agencies and closing accounts to preventing identity theft) transforms a standard funeral service into a lifelong relationship built on genuine gratitude and community trust.

Deathcare Marketing Show | Episode 16

When the flowers are cleared and relatives head home, surviving family members face an intimidating wall of administrative tasks: canceling subscriptions, notifying Social Security, settling accounts, and navigating complex estate requirements. Nationally, families spend an average of one to three years resolving these post-loss logistics.

In this episode, Matthew Van Drimmelen reveals why providing hands-on, done-for-you aftercare is the single most powerful reputation-building strategy a funeral home can adopt. He outlines the difference between passive checklists and active support, how aftercare organically drives preneed sales and Google reviews, and why standardized systems are essential for long-term business growth.

Key Insights

• The Real Burden Isn’t Knowledge, It’s Execution: Giving a grieving widow an 87-page binder or checklist creates homework and overwhelm. The true value comes from taking those painful, repetitive phone calls and tasks entirely off her plate.
• The “Needy Partner” Pitfall: Avoid using post-service touchpoints solely to demand Google reviews or push preneed sales. Shift the dynamic from “me, me, me” to “you, you, you” by offering unconditional, helpful service first.
• The Peak-End Rule (Disneyland Fireworks Effect): Last impressions define memory. Delivering an unexpected, highly supportive final interaction after the funeral leaves an indelible mark that families remember forever.
• Organically Earned Recommendations: When a funeral home actively solves a family’s administrative nightmare, relatives naturally become passionate advocates—driving organic preneed transfers and multi-generational word-of-mouth referrals.
• Consistency Requires Systems: Relying on informal or ad-hoc assistance means 90% of families fall through the cracks. Establishing automated, repeatable systems ensures every family receives an exceptional, high-touch experience.

Actionable Tips for Funeral Directors

• Adopt the “CARE” Framework:
  • C – Continue the Relationship: Extend support long after the cemetery service, avoiding the traditional “hard stop” where families feel abandoned.
  • A – Anticipate the Next Need: Proactively address estate and administrative obstacles before the family even knows to ask for help.
  • R – Remove the Burden: Provide active, hands-on resolution of administrative tasks rather than handing out passive checklists or app logins.
  • E – Earn the Next Recommendation: Focus on exceptional service that naturally inspires families to share organic Google reviews and family referrals.
• Establish a 3-Day Check-In Routine: Have a dedicated staff member or personal assistant reach out to families 72 hours after the service—when out-of-town guests have left—to offer immediate, practical assistance.
• Audit Your Aftercare Experience: Replace self-serving follow-up communications with value-first support, ensuring every family member feels protected and cared for.
• Protect Your Customer Data: Partner only with transparent service providers who respect your client data rather than mining or reselling family information for third-party monetization.
• Standardize Operational Workflows: Put structured systems in place so every director and receptionist delivers the exact same high standard of aftercare on every call.

Key Quotes

“It’s not that people don’t know what to do, it’s the painful process of having to repeat ‘my spouse died’ to dozen of strangers on the phone when you can barely get out of bed.”

“The bar for aftercare is low because families don’t expect it. When you remove their burdens, you blow them away and build trust that lasts generations.”

“Good leadership means service. Systems are everything—you need processes so every family that walks through your door gets the same spectacular experience.”

Resources & Links Mentioned

• Guest Website: Discover hands-on aftercare solutions at Full Service Aftercare.

If you have wisdom and insights to share with your peers in the Deathcare industry, and would like to be a guest on the Deathcare Marketing Show, please apply here: http://deathcaremarketingshow.com

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