Dialogues About Death | E20: How to Leave a Legacy of Love
How to Leave a Legacy of Love: Lessons from Dialogues About Death
February is the month of love, making it the perfect time to reflect on the legacy we leave behind. In the latest episode of Dialogues About Death, Chris Miller, owner of Thomas Miller Mortuary and Crematory, and I explored the ways in which love continues to be felt long after we’re gone. We answered audience questions on how to leave a meaningful legacy, how love influences grief, and how we honor our loved ones after they pass.
If you missed the episode, here are some of the key takeaways.
1. Ensuring Our Love Continues to Be Felt
Love leaves a lasting imprint. Chris shared personal stories about his father and late wife, both of whom left a legacy of love through their passions and service. His father’s commitment to community service inspired Chris to continue his work in the funeral industry, while his wife Rhonda’s dedication to a local food pantry motivated him to honor her by continuing to support it.
Our actions in life can inspire future generations to carry forward the values we cherish. Whether through family traditions, service to our communities, or simple acts of kindness, we ensure that love remains long after we’re gone.
2. Love’s Role in Grief and Healing
Grief is often described as love that has nowhere to go. Chris emphasized the importance of expressing love while our loved ones are still here—saying “I love you” often, offering hugs, and sharing appreciation. When loss comes, knowing that we have shared our love fully can ease the pain of grief.
We also touched on a poignant perspective shared by actor Andrew Garfield: grief is “unexpressed love.” The sadness we feel when we lose someone is simply the love we still hold for them. Recognizing grief as an extension of love allows us to embrace our emotions rather than resist them.
3. Choosing a Final Resting Place with Love
The way we choose to honor our loved ones in their final resting place is often guided by love. For some, this means being buried alongside family in a traditional cemetery. For others, especially with the rise of cremation, it means scattering ashes in a meaningful location—perhaps in the mountains, by the ocean, or in a favorite park.
Chris shared a unique way to memorialize loved ones: dedicating a park bench or planting a tree in their honor. Many cities have programs where families can place benches or plaques in public parks as a lasting tribute.
4. Feeling the Presence of Loved Ones
Many people report sensing the presence of a loved one after they pass, often through signs in nature or music. Chris shared how monarch butterflies—his late wife’s favorite—appear to him unexpectedly, even in seasons when they’re not typically seen. Others find comfort in the appearance of hummingbirds, cardinals, or a favorite song playing at just the right moment.
These experiences remind us that love transcends time and space. The presence of our loved ones is often felt in the small, everyday moments that bring them to mind.
5. Giving Back as a Legacy of Love
Chris and his fellow Rotarians recently held the Fire and Ice Fundraiser, raising over $112,000 for local community programs. This event was a perfect example of how love can be translated into service. The money raised will directly impact people in need, reinforcing the idea that love is best expressed through action.
Final Thoughts
Leaving a legacy of love isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about consistently showing up for the people and causes that matter most. Whether through acts of service, intentional expressions of love, or creating meaningful memorials, we have the power to ensure our love lives on.
As we transition into March, we’ll be focusing on Blessings and Gratitude in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. If you have a story of gratitude you’d like to share, we’d love to hear it!
Until then, remember to express love freely and cherish the moments that make life meaningful.
If you’d like to explore more topics related to grief, legacy, and love, tune into Dialogues About Death on YouTube and podcast platforms. You can also visit Thomas Miller Mortuary and Crematory for resources on memorial planning and grief support.