Dialogues About Death | E18: How to Face Loss During the Holidays

How to Face Loss During the Holidays: A Guide to Navigating Grief and Finding Comfort

The holiday season is often associated with joy, family gatherings, and warm traditions. But for those who have lost a loved one, it can also be one of the most challenging times of the year. Memories of past holidays may bring both comfort and sadness, and the absence of a loved one can feel especially heavy.

In a recent episode of Dialogues About Death, Chris Miller, owner of Thomas Miller Mortuary, shared valuable insights on how to cope with loss during the holidays, offering heartfelt advice and practical strategies to help those grieving find peace during this emotional time.

Are the Holidays a Risk Factor for Loss?

While death is inevitable year-round, funeral professionals often notice an increase in deaths during the holiday season. Chris explained that stress plays a major role—between the pressure of holiday shopping, social obligations, and emotional weight of family expectations, many people experience heightened anxiety, which can lead to health complications.

However, there is also something remarkable about the human spirit. Chris has seen firsthand how many terminally ill individuals seem to hold on just long enough to spend one last holiday with their loved ones. They make it through Christmas or the New Year, and then peacefully pass away, almost as if they were waiting for that final moment of connection.

This bittersweet reality reminds us of the power of love and the deep emotional bonds we share with those we cherish.

Why Do People Dread the Holidays After a Loss?

The holidays are filled with traditions, and when a loved one is missing, those traditions may feel empty or painful. A once joyful time of year may now bring sadness as families navigate how to celebrate without someone they love.

Chris shared his own personal experience of losing his wife seven years ago and how he and his children have adapted. Instead of avoiding the holiday, they created a new tradition—every Christmas morning, they visit her grave and place flowers, taking a moment to honor her memory before continuing their celebrations.

This is an important lesson for anyone grieving: traditions can change, and that’s okay. The key is to find new ways to honor your loved one while still allowing yourself to experience joy.

Some people also experience financial stress during the holidays, which can add to feelings of grief. Chris suggests that families consider alternatives like Secret Santa gift exchanges or homemade gifts, allowing for meaningful celebrations without financial strain.

How to Support a Friend or Family Member Who is Grieving

One of the most common misconceptions is that talking about someone who has passed away will make their loved ones feel worse. The truth is, mentioning their name, sharing fond memories, or even acknowledging their loss can be a great source of comfort.

If you have a friend or relative who is grieving, consider these simple yet meaningful ways to support them:

✅ Invite them to your holiday gathering – If they are alone for the holidays, offering them a seat at your table can mean the world.
✅ Share your memories – Saying, “I always loved how your mom made the best Christmas cookies,” or “Your dad had the best holiday stories,” helps keep their loved one’s memory alive.
✅ Check in regularly – A simple text, call, or visit to ask, “How are you holding up?” can provide comfort.
✅ Offer help – If they are overwhelmed, offer to assist with errands, cooking, or decorating.
✅ Respect their wishes – Some people may want to celebrate quietly, while others may need extra company. Allow them to grieve in their own way.

Strategies for Facing Loss During the Holidays

If you are personally grieving a loss this holiday season, here are some strategies that may help you navigate this time:

Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it’s okay to experience a mix of emotions. Some moments may feel joyful, while others bring sadness. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without guilt.
Create New Traditions
It’s natural to struggle with traditions that now feel different. Instead of trying to force old traditions to feel the same, consider creating new ones. Ideas include:
- Lighting a candle in your loved one’s honor
- Making their favorite holiday dish as a way to remember them
- Volunteering or donating in their name
- Visiting their resting place and decorating it for the holidays
Take Care of Yourself
Grieving can be physically and emotionally draining. Prioritize self-care by:
- Getting enough sleep
- Eating nourishing meals
- Taking walks or engaging in light exercise
- Practicing deep breathing or meditation
Chris also emphasized the importance of scheduling overdue doctor visits, as many caregivers neglect their own health while caring for a loved one.
Stay Connected
Isolation can make grief feel heavier. Even if you don’t feel like celebrating, being around friends and family can provide comfort. Attend a small gathering, join a support group, or simply meet a friend for coffee.
Seek Professional Support If Needed
If grief feels overwhelming or is affecting your daily life, don’t hesitate to seek help. Many funeral homes, including Thomas Miller Mortuary, offer aftercare services and grief resources. Additionally, local churches and community centers often have grief support groups for those struggling during the holidays.

If you need immediate assistance, you can reach out to:

📞 Thomas Miller Mortuary – Corona: (951) 737-3244
📞 La Sierra Memorial Chapel – Riverside: (951) 687-0551

These teams are available 24/7 to provide guidance and support.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone

The holidays can be a time of both joy and sorrow. It’s important to remember that grief is not a sign of weakness—it’s a reflection of love. Allow yourself grace, lean on those around you, and find comfort in the memories of your loved one.

And if you ever feel like you need extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.

Join Us for the Next Episode

For more insights on coping with grief, join us for the next episode of Dialogues About Death on December 20th, where Chris will be discussing How to Face Grief During the Holidays.