Take away the zombie ice men, giant dragons and sword fights, and Game of Thrones really isn’t that different from your normal working office. Every manager fights for their little fiefdom, battling real and perceived threats in ways that would make Machiavelli or Sun Tzu proud. So as the curtain falls on GOT we take a look at the main characters through the lens of the modern workforce.
JON SNOW
Jon Snow
An employee manager, Jon is there with his workers shoulder to shoulder, as evidenced during the recent battle for King’s Landing. He is the type of manager who joins in during bowling night or splashes for a pizza on a Friday afternoon. Great to have around when things are good but indecisive when he has to make a tough decision.
Doppelganger: Hannibal (Defeated Rome in some of history’s most famous battles fighting alongside his men but could never win the war)
CERSEI
The anti-Jon Snow. Autocratic and authoritative, Cersei cares only for herself. Her employees are the means to an end and easily replaceable. A well-spoken sociopath, she loves a good bloodbath and will stop at nothing to achieve her goals. On the positive side, she dresses very well.
Doppelganger: Ted Bundy
DAENERYS
Daenerys
A boss who wants to build a family, Daenerys welcomes everyone, as long as they understand she’s the boss. Not above using her power – dragons – to coerce an enemy, Daenerys needs to be loved by her workers above all else. Like an old boyfriend or girlfriend who will not let go, she will not be ignored. Bad things happen when she feels unloved. Weird text messages, 3 a.m. phone hang-ups, whole cities burnt to the ground, that kind of thing.
Doppelganger: Genghis Khan – conquered vast land empire and accepted new peoples as long as they accepted him as leader. If not, it ended badly; like pyramid of human skulls badly.
TYRION
Tyrion
More an advisor than a manager, Tyrion likes to coach and coerce. He is, after all, the smartest person in the room, or so he likes to think. Becoming a boss is too much responsibility for Tyrion but happily enjoys the meals at the captain’s table while he whispers in his ear.
Doppelganger: Ed McMahon (Johnny Carson’s sidekick on the Tonight Show for 30 years)
NIGHT KING
A pacesetter boss who also wants everyone to feel like they are part of the family, as long as you’re already dead. An authoritative decision maker, the Ice Man will not be second guessed although it’s unclear what punishment he could inflict on his followers who are, after all, already dead.
Doppelganger: The Florida Marlins who appear to be their own team of zombies, on track to compiling one of the worst records in recent memory.
VARYS
Varys
Not so much a man as a large garden gnome, albeit a really smart one. Carrying a sense of impending doom with him at all times, Varys wouldn’t be one for the motivational speaking circuit. He’s survived unstable kings and queens and still managed to survive. It’s not surprising when you run into his type at the mall and find he’s still working for the same company you left a decade earlier.
Doppelganger: Spock from Star Trek
ARYA
Authoritative and coercive, Ayra is a woman of many faces who cannot be tamed. A rebel with her own cause, this lone wolf needs to be left alone, but do not get in her way or she will be off for good.
Doppelganger: Eric Cantona, world famous soccer player who left the game at the height of his fame to pursue acting. Given his performances, Eric maybe should have stayed with soccer.
Goodbye GOT and thanks for the memories and endless water cooler material on Monday mornings. Who knows how Arya and Varys would fare in a world of cubicles and laptops? They would need training, lots of counseling, but mostly soap. A lot of soap.
By Scott D’Amico
Scott D’Amico is a huge GOT fan and gets to help train the Jon Snows of tomorrow working at Communispond.